How to Leave a Kid with Nanny After Pregnancy if Separation Anxiety Has Started?

As my maternity leave is soon going to end and have to join back work, I am clueless on how to manage my son. He is very attached to me and doesn’t stay with anyone even for an hour, although he has been with my mom or mil right from birth. He cries his lungs out if anyone other than my husband or me take him.

Recently we hired a nanny so that she could take care while I am at work, but he doesn’t stay with her too, he moves very swiftly, and she is not able to hold him, she is scared to force him also. The moment I take him, he is happy, laughs loudly and licks all over my face. I have tried everything to stay away, but nothing seems to work. Yesterday I went out for an hour, and by the time I was back, he was crying very badly, his shirt was wet with tears, his eyes had turned red, and I was so heartbroken seeing him like that.

I am anxious about him. I don’t know what he will do while I am away for about 10 hours, the very thought of going to the office makes me cry. I was thinking about a daycare close by to office, but my husband is not for it, he wants him to be at home since we have the option for him to grow with his grandparents. I don’t know how to manage this, kindly pour in your suggestions and share your experiences on how you handled this situation.
I cannot extend my maternity leave nor quit my job for various reasons, so that’s not an option.

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Answers ( 4 )

    1

    You will have to try various techniques like you go out one day and tell your hubby to stay with him that day. The next day you step out for a few hours and see how he reacts. If you like to install cameras at home so you can monitor him, it is difficult to see your child cry, but we working ladies have no choice.

    I joined back work last week, my son was also like this..but don't know, he adjusted quite well when I went to work. I don't know what magic happened, but he was okay, trust me he will be fine.

      0

      Yeah left with no choice, I am just praying that he will be fine. My parents or in-laws will be home, so I won't need to monitor him. That's an advantage for me.

    1

    It's not easy and has been through that, start the practice of leaving him when he is asleep or something and increase the time of being away gradually. Never leave in front of him so that he is stressed out. In case you have to do that, get the maid or grandparents divert his attention somewhere while you leave.

    I can understand it must be tough for you n for baby too.
    I am not sure, but there must be an option in the office that you can work for half time or from home
    as my office allowed me to come home for an hour to feed my little one.
    You can try such an option, and I am sure management won't deny.

      0

      He doesn't sleep if I am not around, the moment I get up, he's playing or crying, he is a very light sleeper. I tend to leave in front of him; I think your input will help me. I will try to avoid that.

    1

    I was in the same state when I was about to resume, so I started with 2 hours daily, grocery shopping or a walk or for coffee without him every day, then 4 hours, then 6 hours and now 9-10 hours and she is fine. I resumed my full time when my daughter was ten months old. You should be out of sight from him as much as possible.

    Also, ask the caretaker to take him to the shop/temple — baby like going outside and will be attached to that person. Also to terrace and show crow, dove, flight, autos etc. Make him play, sing to him, dance to him etc. He will get attached soon. Slowly transition feeding and sleeping to them. This is what doing to my ten months daughter. She comes to me only for breastfeeding and naps. Bottle feed and nap once a day is taken care by grandma. Slowly doing it.

    1

    Please start telling your child that you will go to work, hug him. Follow a pattern of how things will be. Babies are generally very intelligent and understand lot more than you can imagine. I am a working mom and have always told them this every single day before going to work. In fact, I travel quite a bit too. They're quite ok with the nanny, Nani or dad or even the husband.

    Also, you can request your boss…to allow you to resume your job with few hours of working in continuation to few hours of work from home in starting,  And then slowly increase your hours of working ..trust me…babies are very adaptive… he will soon understand that you have to go to office. In the evening you will come back… and daily keep telling him that you have to go for him only…and you will come back in the evening, and you love him the most…he will understand.

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